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Getting to 'YES'

10 Tips to Engage Happiness Hormones

In recent months, I have found myself in conversations with business leaders about getting to “Yes.” There seems to be an increased number of people regardless of industry that are in discussions that include “no, no thank you,” “not right now,” or “maybe in a few weeks/months.”

At times it may not even be related to a sale but rather collaborating on an idea or initiative that will be win-win for both parties. Based on the number of “no’s” we hear in a day week or month, we begin to forget a fundamental concept…

We forget to ask!

As an entrepreneur, especially female, we aren’t hardwired to just ask.” Most often, especially at the beginning of our business journey we feel we have to do everything on our own. Why else would we have started a business? Right?

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Remember to ask. You might just get to a yes!

I’ve been an entrepreneur for over 30 years and I don’t mind sharing, that I’ve had to “learn” to ask.  Truly, hone the skill at the beginning of your career you’ll find it will make things so much easier.  There were so many times that if I had simply “asked” things may have happened sooner, with efficiency and even contributed to positive outcomes.

Taking the time to “ask” is not a sign of weakness but will propel our great idea even further than expected.

Most often, when we ask for help or share an idea we will hear “YES.” It is a great connector!

Hearing yes, fuels our creativity and provides the encouragement to think outside the box. I believe, when we hear yes it actually engages the happiness hormones that creates positive energy and just plain makes us feel good.

There are four hormones that contribute to happiness or fulfillment and they are: dopamin, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins. All of these are naturally created in the body and are engaged when we feel happy, satisfied, and appreciated. They work in tandem with one another and are obviously created when we exercise, eat healthy and I believe hear “yes.”

As a graduate from Harvard Law School Negotiation Institute, I remember a similar conversation with colleagues on the power of getting to yes, especially when negotiating.

After all, isn’t almost every conversation part of that process?

Here are a few suggestions when looking for “Yes”:

  1. Find a neutral environment for the discussion

  2. Be specific to the issue at hand (find the source of No)

  3. Listen; really listen

  4. Focus on finding a middle ground

  5. Create a dialogue based on facts

  6. Use positive words and grammar

  7. Demonstrate positive body language

  8. Eliminate emotional responses from the conversation

  9. Be supportive and agreeable when you find similarities

  10.  Remember that everyone is looking for a resolution

I will take this list one step further and suggest that if we need a break or are ready to close the conversation that we ultimately include “yes.” Ending on a positive note will, at the very least, leave the door open for the future.

After all, isn’t that why we connected with someone in the first place?

We are all interested in collaborating and getting to “yes.”

Take the initiative and JUST ASK!


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