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How To Learn to Love Yourself

While my entire life has taken its fair share of punches, I have learned to look at the positive things in life, yet this was not always the case. To be honest some days, I still have my moments… But we all do!

woman smiling her nation magazine
It is time to yourself.

I remember sitting on the floor of my bathroom closet crying my eyes out. I hit a wall, I am tired and stressed the F out!  How in the world am I the person that everyone looks up to, yet I can’t keep my shit together? I teach my clients to listen to themselves… But why wasn’t I listening to myself?

Some days I feel like I am exactly on the right path to living my best life, and then there are some days that I question all my life choices. I have always thought that I was alone. I mean I really knew I wasn’t alone, I just didn’t want to burden my family and friends with all the problems that the universe threw at me. I am the adult product of childhood trauma. I have always believed that I need to hold onto all my problems and pain, so no one would ever have to carry the burden that I have held onto for so long. Not one therapist or Life Coach could tell me otherwise. I have buried so much of my trauma that I did not know how to deal with it. I knew how to flip the switch and act as though my problems didn’t exist. You would think this was a good thing. I mean it’s a skill right? Wrong my beautiful friends, acting as though everything is okay is not okay.

My series of ah ha moments started about a decade ago. The first was when I had my middle son. At this stage in life, I had two kids under 2 years old, a heart condition and a mom body. I started to lose my identity. I mean I was a mom, but who is the woman behind the title of Mom? To be honest I didn’t know. Over the course of the following decade, I started to learn so much about myself. I became a dedicated yogi and started several businesses. I made sure to carve time out for myself and worked on me. During this time, I created several friendships both in my personal life and in business. I thought I was happy.

BUT, to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t as happy as I appeared. I was living the life that I have always wanted. The family, the house, the jobs. As a kid who grew up in poverty, this was everything I have always wanted… BUT… I was still holding onto so much of my childhood trauma that I could not live my life to my ultimate potential.

A few years ago I founded my consulting company. I started this business with the intention of becoming a Venture Builder. I had some amazing clients, BUT…of course there was another but… I still felt that something was missing. Would you believe me if I told you my happiness was missing? I literally have everything I have ever wanted. I had a client that I adored, they were starting a new business and going through some major life changes. I found that I had to create unique ways to coach them. We had very similar backstories and I was helping them work through their trauma to break through into their true potential. While doing this, I started to work on myself. I began writing a series of books that talk about my childhood trauma and all the things that I went through because of my biological mother. Through all this, I created a coaching methodology that I would test with my other clients. I started to teach them how to listen to themselves and make decisions based on their gut instincts and what truly made them happy. If we are able to find happiness in ourselves we will no longer have to seek it in others. This is the same for love. When we love ourselves first, love will find us.

My clients have been doing amazing things. They were living their best lives. BUT truth be told, I was only 75% happy and my self love was lacking. I was giving talks about self-validation and I was working on myself yet, I was still not fully listening to the advice that was changing my client’s lives.

I started to teach them how to listen to themselves and make decisions based on their gut instincts and what truly made them happy. If we are able to find happiness in ourselves we will no longer have to seek it in others.

It wasn’t till I was on a trip to Puerto Rico, and I received a call that my biological mother was dying. I went through a series of emotions that I never even imagined I would experience. Days after I came home from my trip, my mother passed. I was at her side with one of my brothers. The day my mom passed, was the day that I realized that I wasn’t living my life to the fullest. I allowed this trauma to hold onto my love and happiness for almost 40 years. I promised myself I was going to change my life and listen to the advice I give so often. It was like the light switch I shut off turned back on. I have finally started to find my happiness. Finding my happiness allowed me to love myself in ways that I never allowed myself to do. We compromise so much of our happiness to make others happy that we sacrifice so much of ourselves. I did this for so long for so many reasons.

Every morning, I wake up with the intention of living my best life. Saying what I need to say when I want to say it. I stopped compromising my own happiness to make others happy. Everything I do is for me. I need to be the happiest for myself and to teach my children the importance of loving yourself and the only way we can truly be happy is to find it within ourselves. Do not seek happiness from someone else, let them add to the happiness you have already created! Everything in our lives is only here for a period of time, no matter how long it is there, only one thing that is certain… YOU live with yourself from the moment you are born to the day you die. Make that person happy first…


Jen Potter with Her Nation Magazine
Jen Potter | Ultrapreneur and Business/Life Strategist

Meet the expert:

Jen Potter is an accomplished Speaker, Ultrapreneur, and Business/Life Strategist. Her mission is to help people realize their ultimate potential while changing their thought process both in business and their personal lives. She does this by inspiring others to dig deep within themselves to find their “WHY” and understand that when they start

to listen to what they want, their lives will indeed change, then recognizing that they have the potential to transcend the confines of their environment. 

Dive deeper into her wealth of knowledge:



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