What?
Yep. Perfectionism is a limitation.
You have set the ceiling. The top.
You have decided, (by your own subjectiveness) what perfection is. Which means there is nothing better. There’s nothing beyond. This is it. So, let’s say you are a baker. And today you baked the best cake ever. Pure perfection. Now there is nothing more to strive for or create. What would you do? Never bake again? Be frustrated with each cake you bake from here on out, because you’ve already made your masterpiece? Oh I hope not!
AND what happens when you are caught in perfectionism? For most of us we:
Give up
Make excuses
Feel crappy
Judge ourselves
Now to be fair, some people may thrive for a while with a high goal, but when things don’t go well, what do you do? Do you beat yourself up? When you have set a standard that it MUST be exactly like this, that is hard to meet. And here is a place that is very destructive to you.
When you feel like you aren’t succeeding, you can get scared.
You question. You overthink what you are doing. And what do we do then?
We compare. Oh no! How do I match up? Am I any good?
Comparing is also a limitation. It is all based on what IS present but nothing beyond. We don’t learn from perfectionism. We copy. We imitate. We hope we reach that bar.
But what if you didn’t limit yourself with a bar? What if there IS no limit?
To truly create, we have to think beyond what has been. We have to dream. And will you make messes? Oh, yes! Many! I hope you let yourself sweat, spill, scream, rip, because all of these are releases. Releases from tension which…
You got it…
FREES you! The complete opposite of perfectionism.
Perfectionism boxes you, judges you, and puts an incredible pressure upon you moving forward.
You know this…sometimes you are totally in the vortex, in the flow, the Heavens are aligned with you. It’s one of those Olympic days! It seems like everything is going your way. And sometimes, well...it’s a dropsie day, a sloppy day, a “I need some help day”. We all have them. The key is learning to magnify your flow and creative days AND what you can do to help yourself in those messy days. And, gals, there is great wisdom in the mess. Even if it doesn’t help your business, it helps you. It helps you dig deeper, be more attentive, be more cautious, get scrappy, learn and grow. Messy days make you think. And when you are accessing your wisdom along with your creativity you are magic.
It also allows you to enjoy the process and not just the outcome.
There are singers and writers and athletes who were a “one hit wonder”. And the danger in that is to lessen the magnificence of that one song or book or run. BUT if you are learning, growing, striving in your journey, of course you want the medal or the trophy, BUT every step you have taken has been a part of that.
If I am building a beautiful arch, that last brick is not any more important than the first or the third. But it is in completion that we see the result. Be mindful here. Each brick is AS important as the other. Everyone is needed for it to be complete. And just like you sweet friend, all of you and all of what you do is part of your masterpiece.
So, strive for all you desire. And remember when you fall, you get a second perspective. When you are stuck, you learn a new way out. When you spill your cake batter you will probably be even more relieved when the next one is finished baking. Take it all in. Each moment is a moment to love you, learn you, grow you, and yes, improve you, you limitless wonderful woman!
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Meet the expert:
I am Dr. Heather Browne, and I cultivate conscious communication for people who want to transform conversation and relationships from fear and judgment into embracing wisdom, compassion, respect. Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT, TedX speaker, best seller author of: Speaking with the Heart Transforming Your Relationship and Communication with Compassion and Connection helps people recognize the power of communication. It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities.
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