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  • BY JENNIFER REGULAR

How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome For Good

Have you ever questioned your abilities, even when others seem to praise you on them? Have you ever kept your talents and gifts hidden because you didn't think they stood up and didn't want to come across as a fraud? If you answered yes, then you are certainly not alone. Since the first article on Imposter Syndrome in 1978, many people have felt inadequate or doubtful of their abilities. But who is the "Imposter"?


Imposter Syndrome is not recognized as any kind of disease or mental disorder, however, it can be described as a type of dis-ease. In other words, a discomfort or awkwardness one might feel when you doubt your capabilities. It is also when you don't think your skills and abilities stack up against the rest, and worry you don't belong among "Great Ones."


I remember being at a 3-day conference in 2021 re-emerging into the world of

networking excited about who I was going to meet. That excitement quickly spiraled downward when I got into a breakout room and started collaborating with people I felt were in the "Big Leagues." I'm talking about people who shared stages with Les Brown, T.J. Eckhart, and Wayne Dyer and had Jack Canfield in their summits for example. I thought, "What the hell was I doing there?!" I was like a deer caught in the headlights when it came time for me to introduce myself.

shy woman
Can we overcome imposter syndrome for good?

With my body shaking and shivering, I felt like I lost a grip on everything I thought I knew. This felt WAY out of my comfort zone.


Lesson Learned


We all yearn to feel seen and heard and yet we emotionally fear it. Especially when we don't feel we measure up to others. We may be strong in what we do and who we are, and yet vulnerable when we begin to express it "out there". It's also our beliefs that can trip us up and thoughts that come through, sometimes at lightning speed, that can distract us from our truth. This is often accompanied by social anxiety. There may also be fear of being "found out." That maybe you don't have certification and degrees that add to your credibility, even though you still carry a lot of wisdom, knowledge, and experience.


When I gathered myself looked at my beliefs and reeled in my thoughts, I stopped trembling. I remember I was at that conference to cultivate community and connection. To open my heart and mind so that I can gather with others who are courageous enough to put their work out there. We were all on a similar mission to help others succeed and live more fulfilling lives.


You see, when I held that truth in front of me, I knew I would not get lost. I knew that we all had the same mission to join together, collaborate, and see how we can support each other in our work.


That experience also reminded me of a quote by Vincent Van Gogh, "If you hear a voice inside your head that says you are not a painter, then by all means paint! Then that voice will be silenced." Show up! Be you. Be present with what is right there in front of you and rise with what is inside of you.


Beyond the Shadow of Doubt


An interesting fact about Imposter Syndrome is that it is mostly found among high-achievers who are driven in most areas and yet hide their truth. It might also be experienced by those who feel pressured to always have to prove themselves to others, justify their actions, or are stuck in a perpetuating cycle of perfectionism and procrastination. Start taming perfectionism and procrastination so you can fall into a new rhythm and build momentum.


Move beyond any shadow of doubt and fear of not being good enough. When you feel like you don't belong or are not capable, you keep yourself small. You may even keep yourself hidden. You deny yourself and others the opportunity to shine.


Vincent Van Gogh, "If you hear a voice inside your head that says you are not a painter, then by all means paint! Then that voice will be silenced."

When you step out of the darkness into the light, others around you become illuminated. You start recognizing how you can offer acts of service, rather than being in service to your ego. Self-denial often shows up as Imposter Syndrome. You deserve the right to shine your light in the fullness of who you are, without shame.


By taking a service-oriented approach you can heal shame. Shame is the one that can be described as the imposter that was internalized at some earlier point in your life. Perhaps there are times when you truly don't belong. You might find yourself in a crowd you don't resonate with. Maybe they are better than you, maybe not. Ego always likes to compare. The soul always likes to find a way to connect. Decide which is going to lead.


It is important to recognize the human need for balance and release the ego's need to be "superhuman". To act from the soul, you fully engage in the highest expression of yourself, your gifts, and your abilities. This is spiritual sovereignty and the secret antidote to Imposter Syndrome.

Ego always likes to compare. The soul always likes to find a way to connect. Decide which is going to lead.

Engage and Elevate


Empowerment is being in a place of authenticity and walking your path with integrity. It is staying true to yourself and your values.


When you are questioning your abilities and capacity, you underestimate your potency. Step up and accept and express yourself and what you stand for!


Never feeling good enough can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. When you feel like you need to get things right, projects can become very time-consuming and take longer than necessary. This might cause you to miss opportunities and lead to a poor habit of over-committing.


The pursuit of perfection can lead to procrastination and a fear of making mistakes. We've all been there and this is especially true for entrepreneurs who set unrealistically high standards for themselves. This often results in self-sabotage where you constantly revise and refine your work without ever finishing it. Worse yet is when you finish and then not release it out into the world!


I admit I've been sitting on projects and content for months, and ideas that have stayed in a notebook for years. This serves no one. And it certainly doesn't have any impact when no one knows about it or has any access to it.


So why do we do that when we can be so purpose-driven and even have a tendency to be over-achievers? Well, there are a few reasons, and bringing them to light may just activate a switch that gets things going and "out there" again so read on.


One reason is that you fear the responsibilities and changes that come with success. This alone is enough to keep us in our comfort zone where it feels easier to manage. Another way we might self-sabotage is by getting stuck in a perpetuating cycle of perfectionism and procrastination. Wanting to get everything on point, in the right way at the right time for the right people. Right? Sometimes we gain some good momentum after taming these tendencies but they can resurface later causing us to feel self-defeated.


Third, and another one related to fear, is not meeting expectations. This is true both when it's your expectations or those coming from others. These negative thoughts are ones you are not even aware of causing you to subconsciously sabotage your efforts to avoid potential failure, disappointment, or shame.


Shaming yourself with harsh criticism and negative self-talk can erode your confidence and motivation and convince you that you won't succeed.


While perfectionism and procrastination are often seen as hindrances to productivity and well-being, there are situations where they can be advantageous. For instance, having high standards means you likely also have exceptional attention to detail and quality in your work. Probably more than you give yourself credit for. You are likely also highly motivated, and diligent and have already achieved outstanding results and innovative solutions.


Procrastination isn't so bad sometimes either. It could be a sign of a creative thinker who waits for the breakthrough moment. Some people do very well when there is an impending deadline and have more focus when under a time crunch. And of course, it's perfectly acceptable to put things off when you need to conserve your energy. It's really important to rest and take a break or sabbatical, especially when you are feeling mentally or physically fatigued, or emotionally drained.


Authenticity Is Your Superpower


Expressing your true self is being honest, authentic, trustworthy, and a person of integrity.


Much of what we have learned about life came from the outside in. From our parents, cultures, media, and schools. They formed our beliefs and gave meaning to our actions, however often not in alignment with who we were inside. This set us up to constantly look outside ourselves for whatever we felt might be missing causing us to mis-take and mis-place our power.


Never compare yourself to someone else, just learn from their mistakes. And from their success. It's also important not to compare yourself to what you used to do or be like. You are always evolving and elevating your excellence.


To live well and prosper is how you thrive to survive in today's world. When a seed is planted, it can only grow into what it is blueprinted for. When this seed is nourished, and its needs are met, it can bloom into its fullest glory. You are not much different. You are meant to be who you came here to be and do what you were meant to do. Only you can do what you were meant to do. No one in the world is you except you. So how can you possibly be an "Imposter?"


Shift from improving yourself to knowing yourself. Allow your true self to emerge as you let go of fear, shame, guilt, and any feelings of unworthiness. Stop doubting your abilities and trust what you know is enough.


Never compare yourself to someone else, just learn from their mistakes. And from their success.

People in the business world are always talking about the know, love, and trust factors and are often referring to getting other people to do this for us. What if you instead learned to know, love, and trust yourself?


This is how you overcome Imposter Syndrome, for good!


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Meet the expert:

As a Speaker, Author, and Podcast Host, Jennifer Regular is renowned for her ability to inspire and guide you in unlocking your passion and living a purposeful life. Her visionary approach is dedicated to helping individuals harness their inner light and create profound impact. In the realm of conscious business and visionary leadership, Jennifer's influence is palpable, as she continues to pave the way for conscious evolution and collective empowerment.


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