My journey in this lifetime has been quite an amazing one, filled with adventure, fun, excitement, love, and transformational journeys through chaos, conflict, pain, and overwhelm. As I learned to navigate and ride the waves of chaos in my life, I also learned to thrive through the chaos to become a better version of me every time. At some point, I had to ask myself why is “this” happening to me? What is the lesson here? What is the right thing to do? What does my life look like after “this” happens?

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What I started realizing as I thrived through each transformation was that trying to seek answers and reasons behind everything didn’t really make me feel any better nor did it make the pain and trauma through the transformation go away or get any better. So, I did what any rational, logical, analytical person like me would do. I tried harder to seek answers!

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If a situation wasn’t going my way according to my expectations, I gave it my 1000% to do “my part” in trying to make things go the way I imagined my life to turn out. I thought if I used my innate gift of self will and perseverance to push myself and push anyone else involved in the situation, things will work out the way I imagined.

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As you can sense, not everything turned out that way. In fact, the more I thought self will and perseverance was enough to make anything happen, the more life went the exact opposite direction. I was really confused and lost as through out my life, I grew up with people telling me to work hard, persevere, and you can only achieve everything you want in life by pushing yourself to the limit. So, if that were true, why was my life not going in the direction I had envisioned through out each transformational journey I have encountered so far?

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I started looking into the metaphysical world of healing modalities, intuitive experts, astrology, astronomy, psychics, etc. After years of searching, and speaking to an intuitive astrologer, it finally came to me. He sat me down and said “Jothi, you have a gift of patience and strong self will that has gotten you to be very successful in life.”

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I thought to myself that this sounded great and wondered where he was going with this.

He continued, “And…your self will is your biggest asset, which can also be your weakness because you are assuming that you are in control if everything that happens in your life and there is no higher power.”

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He went on to explain that yes self will and perseverance will definitely lead you to a path of success, however that itself solely is not enough. What is required is the wisdom to recognize that there is a higher source at play at all times. Whether one believes in God, Universe, Source, Spirit, or any religion, there needs to be acknowledgement that there is indeed a higher power at play.

What that meant for me was that I needed to cultivate faith and trust in understanding that once I have exhausted my own abilities to persevere and work hard at fulfilling something, if what I envisioned does not come to fruition, I need to release, let go, and surrender to whatever higher power I believed in, as this meant that there was something even better than I had envisioned in store for me.

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I truly believe that this has become my biggest life lesson thus far as I navigate some of the biggest waves of chaos. I can try my best and feel that I gave a situation my all, and then have the wisdom to release the situation to the Universe, have faith that everything will be taken care of the way they need to be, and have patience in the unfolding of events that the Universe always has my back.