Ultimately, that is what I had to do.

 

I can still hear his words, 'Whoever makes all the money makes all the rules.' or 'Whoever has all the money has all the power.'

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This was the verbiage that my abusive ex would say to me, to remind me of how our home ran. Before I knew it, I was 10 years in, broke and dependent completely on him for financial support. He constantly rubbed it in my face and made it clear to everyone around us that he made all the money, had all the money and that I should be forever grateful for his contribution to my livelyhood, because apparently I was incapable of carrying for myself.

 

The worst part?  

I believed him.

 

He would use phrases like,

'I saved you.' 

'You were nothing before I met you.' 

'You had nothing, you've never had anything.' 

 

Constantly reminding me of how fortunate I should feel for him saving me. 

 

After years of fighting, name calling, manipulation, financial abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, gaslighting, hours of interrogations... I found myself once again on the bathroom floor in the dark. I had been crying, as usual. Through water filled eyes I went to my phone and googled one phrase, and this was the phrase that changed everything for me.

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'Why is my boyfriend bullying me?'

 

I never thought I would have to google such a ridiculous statement. But after years of suicidal thoughts and dozens of nights being berated until 4 in the morning about dishes not being washed, who texted me, or whether or not I know how to drive. There I was, and there was the word: Narcissist.

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I had heard of the word before, but I had no idea what it really meant. That night, I went down a rabbit hole of article after article and suddenly I realized this was my life. A life with a narcissist.

 

It wasn't me, I wasn't the problem! It was him. 

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As time went on, I read every article, watch every video and read every book on the subject of narcissism, co-dependency and empaths. I became a walking billboard of empowerment, self-worth, confidence, courage and communication.

 

I did not speak a word of this information to the narc I was living with. Instead, I continued to educate myself on how to handle his manipulation, how to change subjects, how to stay calm. I practiced affirmations and meditation. I took up yoga and within 5 years I had secretly saved up enough money to move out overnight. 

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I escaped my narcissist and I want to empower you to do the same.

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Through my mentoring, I share my stories, my failures and my victories in order to empower and give confidence to individuals that find themselves in similar situations.